” When I approached, I noticed he was eating cereal. “You know I'm lactose...” I said, disappointed. Then I realized there was plate on the table opposite of him that was covered in tin-foil with fork and a glass of orange juice near it. “That's why I made you a couple of pancakes and freshly squeezed some oranges, can't have you too nauseous today,” he said as he unwrapped the foil.I smiled and sat down, then I picked up the fork and cut myself a bite of the pancake. "I hope they're still warm," he said. I nodded, "Yes, they're delicious. Thank you."As I ate, he stared at me like he was expecting me to say something. I wasn't really sure what to say and it kind of made me feel uncomfortable. "What?" I asked.He shook his head, "Nothing...just admiring your beauty."The honeyed words were always nice, but it was hard to believe that I was the only girl he was admiring.I finished a little less than half of the food and I was already full. "Done?" he asked.I nodded and he grabbed the. They are apparent women. They are the sortof "women" whom men prefer who do not want real women, who want only menwho look like women. However, these men do not want to admit that theyprefer men to women. They do not want to admit, even to themselves, thatthey are homosexual, because, to them, such an admission, means that theyare less than men themselves and presents them with the emotional andpsychological quandary of both loving and rejecting their ownmasculinity, of feeling ambivalent about who and what they are. When theobject of one's desire has long hair; a beautiful face; wears makeup andfeminine attire; has round, womanly buttocks; has shaved legs, and isequipped with breasts, it is easier to accept the male genitals. One canrationalize his attraction to the shemale by telling himself that thisbeautiful, feminine creature is not a man. The shemale may also not be awoman, either, exactly, but, just as clearly, "she" is not a man--atleast, not fully. She is a he-she, a.
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